SCORECARD

Fitmen Negotiate Field Hospital to help Ease the Pain
Fitmen 217-5, beat Lichfield Nomads 184-9, by 33 runs

Patient Recruitment
During the first bout of Ward Rounds, and of the 45 Fitmen contacted, a nice bunch of 10 was already confirmed prior to the midweek T20 versus our Landlords Moseley Asfield........during the midweek game and 90 minutes later however, following three drop outs for numerous reasons (one attending a J.Barton wedding (post stag-do) in Cornwall; One Childcare requirements; one Gastrocnemius issues....more of that to follow)....boosting the NO count to an alarming 24....we were down to only Sevennnnnnnn......skipper is still awaiting replies from another 10 Fitmen by the way.

The triage report came back from the Field Hospital and Messrs Bice and Martin returned for duty......Bice of the aforementioned Gastroc tear....Martin, A., nursing a rapidly healing latissimus dorsi/intercostal strain back to full stretch-ability. Caesar, T. (Snr) was promoted from the Monty Panesar 12th Man role up to the now familiar Jofra Archer Number XI, that bowls a bit, role.

An 11th hour - and I mean PROPER 11th hour - attempt at claiming sick leave was petitioned to the skipper by a Samuel L, with a calcaneal bone spur, possibly brought on from a period of untreated plantar fasciitis (symptomatic of feet up in The Caribbean with Lara, B.), making walking, let alone running, painful and certainly difficult to bowl.....however the trooper that is Sam L also reported for duty and we were back up to XI.

Off to Kings Bromley then, round the M42 or up the A38 - the choice is yours, but what was common to all commuters was the persistent rain we had to negotiate en route.....surely the rain gods were going to save this assembled bunch of walking wounded.....of the XI, we figure that only 3 or 4 are not reporting any ailments - see below....

Tom Caesar - no reported ailments - the Diazepam Doctor
Si Howarth - ticker trouble.....
Harry Eames - no reported ailments - the Surgeon
Steve Nicholls - no reported ailments - the busy paramedic
Mark Tucker - (R) Acromioclavicular Joint (ACJ) Separation, Grade III, with secondary contralateral sciatica, and tertiary ingrowing toenails
Sharif - well......where do we start
Fraz - no reported ailments - the adrenaline
Ade Martin - Latissimus Dorsi strain, with secondary intercostal damage - struggles to cough/sneeze/wipe after toileting....
Rich Bice - gastrocnemius strain - requested to 'keep
Sam Lockyer - calcaneal spur on (L) foot (the big bowlers landing foot)
Tony Caesar - previous (R) ACJ separation following RTI - prognosis was that he had to bowl with the contralateral (Left) arm.....let's see how that goes

It was a given that it would be a Bowl first day, what with the greasy track being covered until 14:00 meaning a 30 minute delay to the start, in addition to the forecast of brighter skies later, and so it was as the visiting skipper called incorrectly and was inserted by his counterpart.....

Tom C and Si H to open the account.

BATTING
Si unfortunately perished early, absolutely smashing a cut shot straight to the cover boundary fielder who held onto a sharp catch.
Harry Eames joined Tom C, and with quick hands and surgical precision, deconstructed the bowling attack to make a fine 44 (6 fours), looking forward to seeing more of this from the Fitman Surgeon once the wickets dry out nicely.

He and the ever calming Tom Caesar shared a great partnership of 112, Tom C taking a liking to the oppo' skipper bowling round the wicket to accelerate the scoring at will (17 smashed off one over....jumper hastily retrieved by to oppo' skipper). I saw it as a chance-less knock, which others may dispute, but the Fitmen ailments were all forgotten with an absolute class innings of 104 not out from our Diazepam Doctor (9 fours; 2 sixes). Stand outs were the amount of time this lad has; putting the bowler right on the back foot by smazzing a six back over his head; and the unnerving ability to i) be soooooo patient and ii) find the gaps with ease - great knock TC Jnr.
Steve Nicholls also raced the scoreboard along, carving a couple of nice boundaries in his 19, setting the platform for a late, late bonanza...Skiperrr Tuckerrrrrr and Legend Sharif has licenses to smash it, both coming in in the 35th ish over, however both failed (not so) gloriously.
With nerves calmed, and then quickly reinstated thanks to the lacklustre middle order, a hoick up the order (thanks go to Vice Capt A Martin), allowed for a late injection of adrenaline by Fraz, to smash 15 off only 8 (3 fours), taking the Fitmen to a very nice 217 off their 40 overs....maybe not a bad toss to lose after all.... and a fair total given the standard of fielding on show from our hosts.

TEA
Protein Packed Pork pies, mini pasties, mini scotch eggs (ideal body repair fodder)
Lemon Drizzle
Once? Cooked Pizza
Buns Buns Buns
One Fitman was observed continuously circling the tea table
Not quite hospital food, but the Fitmen patient cohort glady gorged.
Reports of the brew being a tad anaemic did filter through however...

BOWLING/FIELDING
Fresh from his golf like batting antics, Fraz was afforded the "New" (spare) ball, and with guidance from Patient Martin, found a nice line to the pair of lefties opening up. Chairman Caesar was also receptive of some "try and bowl it on off-stump" guidance from the field, and if he hadn't have conceded one boundary per over, would have put himself in the running for the economy award - as it was, one wayward full-toss per six balls ended his hopes as the Chairman bowled through for 8-0-39-0.
Samuel L bowled through the pain and on the heel spur, for a few overs of flight, ignoring the nearby 30 mph speed cameras to launch down five overs and keep the batsmen at bay.

Fraz was happy to be kept back for four at the death, so it was over to Skipperrr Tuckerrr and veteran Sharif to burden the next 16 between them.....never an issue for Sharif, and with two smart catches stood up to the stumps from Bicey, a sharp catch at short mid-off from Tom C, and a bowled??, Sharif mesmerically bowled through his 8 overs (very quickly too it must be noted), to snag another great 4-fer: quality figures as ever, 8-0-29-4.
Tuckerrr had the opener trapped LBW, and after the openers were plodding along all tended to think "was that a wise move???....what is coming next"......however, after smashing his first few balls and showing all intentions, the hard hitting middle order slugger was clean bowled, followed by the oppo' skipper nicely caught by Harry off a skier shortly after, halting any rapid acceleration and earning Tuckerrr more wickets than runs scored, to finish with an ACJ Separation Assisted 8-0-39-3.

Si patrolled the leg side cavern to the beat of "Ah..Ah..Ah..Ah...Stayin' Alive...Stayin' Alive..." coming from a static gulley, stopping everything and missing nothing, as did Steve, the stand in Paramedic, in the covers/cow/deep square, keeping the scoring rate to a manageable 4-ish per over. Great fielding to match that which we observed earlier in our batting innings....even keeping underthrows to a minimum. The sugar injection from the barely diluted orange during the drinks break may have had a part to play in turning a bunch of injury wragged Fitmen into Sunny Delight Tasmanian Devils, with dental appointments being hastily scheduled for the coming week....

Scoring rate was starting to slow, so the oppo' needed to start pushing the accelerator......any previous murmurs of Fitmen volunteering to bowl suddenly U-Turned to see these same recruits suddenly discharged without a Doctor's note, the game considered to be tighter than comfortable....

With visiting time almost up, Fraz returned to the attack, and with more "off-stump" guidance from Ade, who stoically bowled the opposite end, the Fitmen wrapped up the oppo' innings for 180-9, Ade snagging a wicket thanks to a Harry Trick catch (3-0-15-1), Fraz unfortunately wicket-less but nice figures of 8-0-27-0 - he did however snag a "run-out", dislodging the bails to Terminate a tight run when the ball was still on the square.....it is permitted in social cricket to tip and run whilst the ball is still on the square....right?

POST MATCH
Bodily reparation continued in the nearby Royal Oak, but with a Fruity Ale circa £5 per pint, jug avoidance was nicely called by the Centurion Doctor Diazepam, opting for a cooler Spanish offering of Estrella, seemingly the local brew, maybe a nod to the Red Men getting on the Six-Ometer the evening before in Madrid.

YNWA
77, 78, 81, 84, 05, 19
Allez, Allez, Allez