SCORECARD

A fond farewell to Dr Gav “Carling” Hall

The Fit IQ average has just seen a recent nosedive following the announcement that the midweek fixture against the Village was to be our very own Doctor of Philosophy, University of Birmingham alumni, opening bat and boundary specialist fielder (as long as it’s by the club house), last appearance for a while due to “work” taking him north of the border.

An expert in NATO and Security Institutions, Counter-Insurgency and the Role of Technology in Warfare, I really don’t know how we are going to get through 40 overs from now on. What the hell are we going to talk about? I’ve downloaded a few copies of Hall-Webber-Routledge-2022-Maritime-security-in-the-North-Atlantic manuscript, which should get us through until September (2025), but after that we’re going to have to play Suduku or maybe just fall back on the old talking shit for hours on end AGAIN.

Sammy Moore skip for the evening won the toss and asked the Village to bat. Only joking Billal, of course he didn’t. Anyway the Village openers on a grey and murky evening started in very aggressive mood. J.S.Locker put his body on the line as always, took a blow to the knee in the very first over and had to depart the field of play for half an hour for a little lie down. The batsmen took full advantage of the depleted field smashing 57 off Ade and Joe in just 6 overs. Rob Nutt did take a good catch in the deep off Joe’s bowling but it was looking ominous.

Thankfully, Locker hobbled back on. Apparently shattered Patella but he’d tough it out. No chance he could bowl (with the ball pinging everywhere) and probably wouldn’t bat…but we’d have to wait and see.

Jonesy was terribly unlucky with edges flying to the boundary rather than taking wickets. Billal again delivering 18 balls of quality, grabbing a wicket (26) and only going for 16 runs, a good effort. It looked like we would be chasing a really big target but Dave Moore and Rob Nutt had other ideas. Despite a short leg side boundary, Dave looped down 4-0-21-1 which was a superb performance at the death. Dave’s wicket came from an absolutely world class catch from Joe Little in the deep. Only Joe would have made the amount of ground to get to it, but then to take it at speed against the railings…incredible.

Rob Nutt then bowled one of those overs that only happen with the Fitmen. Good ball, chipped up to Sammy Moore at extra cover, congratulations all round. Not so. The Marylebone Cricket Club announced changes to the no-ball law from 1 October 2013 “A no-ball will be called if the bowler breaks the stumps during the delivery stride” There had been no law on the issue previously, although 23.4(b)(vi) allows the umpire to signal dead ball if the batsman is distracted.

Never mind, have another go. Similar ball, same shot, even better catch by Sammy Moore. Not out. “Yer bums oot the windae umpire” sledges the now half Scottish Gavlar 4 Vodka and Red bulls in, “Yer a riddy!”. The umpire had conveniently forgotten to call “Free Hit” or do the mandatory cricketers stock dance move, waving his arm in the air, like he just don’t care…FFS. Next ball, same shot, slightly over extra cover….4 runs. The normally more conservative Nutt brother now enraged, bowls yet another pissed off no-ball. It was starting to get dark by the time the over ended. 3-0-28-2 were amazing figures after all that. Jonesy bagged a scoop shot gone wrong wicket and the Village finished 160-6.

It was fitting that Gavlar who has never failed to “Get on with it”, cracked his signature late cut for 4 and then got out bowled next ball. What a finale! Pl.89 1681 Runs @ 21.55 with a SR 90.98. His 10 club wickets bowling should have been way more but he just didn’t want to get labelled an all rounder and mugged off to the middle order. Sam Moore who has been in superb form this season mis-timed a pull shot and was out for 5 and the Fitmen were wobbling. What was needed was a touch of stability and get the innings back under control. 11 for 2 after 2 overs became 22 for 2 after 6 and 37 for 2 after 9 overs.

Following the England test teams incredible summer of Baz Ball, chasing improbable targets, the Fitmen in recent weeks have developed Spaz Ball where challenging targets are blatantly not even attempted. To be fair, the bowling was of a high standard and really accurate, but where the Village batsmen edged for 4, we found it difficult to lay willow on leather. Timmsy took 16 balls to get to 6 but then scored 23 off 10. Howarth rolled back the years to the days when at Wast Hills 18 off 36 balls with 8 scoring shots would have received a gentile round of applause. Don’t beat yourself up. Theres always next week!

Highlight of the innings came when Lazurus Linford Lockyer bounded out to the middle in at 5. How’s the knee Sam? Fine, fine…although I’ll probably have to just deal in boundaries tonight…Boom cover (yes cover) drive for four. BOOM – down on one knee (the poorly one) pull shot for for. Two’s turned into three’s, scampered singles. He even lapped this reporter at one stage. What a Jessica. Nothing wrong with him! 26 off 20 balls was entertainment personified. 121 runs off the allotted wasn’t too bad following the 5 day test match first 10 overs, but not good enough. A loss by 39 runs.

And so, to wave Gavlar off into the sunset “Away an bile yer heid” Dr Hall, enjoy those battered mars bars over the border and we’ll hopefully see you grace the Graveyard with those cultured late cuts some sunny day……