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Fixtures and Results | Match Reports

Date Against H/A Link Result Captain/Score
Thu 24 / 5 / 2018 AMS Away Won by 10 wickets. Oppo 111-2. Old Mo 112-0.



The new-fangled, Whatflap Fitmen app, has certainly changed the face of Fit Captaincy. In days of yore, one simply “Texted” 45 individuals in a vain, frantic fashion to assemble 11 still alive bodies and try and win a cricket match. Now, punch drunk from pornographic images no-one should ever have seen, a group of social media savvyish Fitmen attempt to make the ever enjoyable 5-250 mile journey, (depending on your day) to the bucolic Feckenham CC.

Social Media selection has its benefits, but a raft of non-drivers coupled with London bound Train users made the start time of 6pm mythical. Vice-Captain, Cornwall bound and bird plop encrusted mini bus driver for the day, delivered all and sundry safe and on-time.
Other members of the squad were not so lucky. DDH picking the chairmen up from BR Redditch was always going to end in tardiness. “Dropping something off for the missus” and “we’re just crossing a cattle grid, Sat Nav says 1 minute” fills no one with confidence. TC tucking into value for money refreshments biding his time. Bice, on the early morning sleeper from Madras allowed official debut for Jonesy’s Dad, who acquitted himself perfectly at fine leg. After 4 practice spins early in the day with all landing on heads, tails it was and we were asked to field.

Taking the field with 8 at 6.20pm, led to the decision to bowl 10 from each end to save time and ease the fielding burden on birthday skip. Complaints from certain quarters of the need to keep moving in between overs fell on deaf ears, although when numerous potential catches fell just short of soporific fielders, perhaps I should have listened.

A stupendous virtuoso ‘Keeping display then followed as Edward Saucepanhands donned the ageing FitKeep kit. Raj and Rob Nutt bowled accurately but after a couple of rising deliveries, Harris was relieved of the Saucepans with the cries of “Not the Face, Not the Face” ringing around the arena. Bice rolled back the years, not only stopping errant deliveries but also catching the ball – a novel concept for Fitmen. The AMS top 3 were all decent bats. With the 25 and out rule, they came and went, giving TC and Howarth some punishment. 3 catches off Howarth’s bowling tantilisingly close but no wickets to show for Jones and Howes either, although much tighter spells.

Howes giving DDH a run for his money on the run up stutter-ometer, cranking it up to stutter level 6 at times. Wide, Wide and only 1 run off the bat from Howes – a good effort. Harris accused the big hitter at 3 of smashing a baby 6 off his bowling. The new cherry was lost forever and a spongey dog ball was then used for the rest of the night. For some reason, no one was able to lose this orb of filth no matter how hard it was struck.

AMS going nicely after 12 overs on 80 odd and it looked like a big score could be posted. Step up to the plate Gav Hall and take a bow. After a horrific sledging in the bird poo mini bus on the way over, Gavlar had something to prove. First ball, a looping devilish delivery followed by a nastier 2nd ball which clean bowled the bat. The next 10 balls allowed just 3 runs, bamboozling and flumuxing all and sundry. A terrific couple of overs which swung the match.

Martin hobbled in on gout ruined ankles to snag a C&B leaching just 6 runs. Healy wrapping the innings up with a miserly 12 balls allowing only 3 more to the total. What could have been a 150 score was strangled to just 111-2. Some good ground fielding. But how many catches could have been taken…..if only we had swapped ends at each over. Personally I think it would have made zero difference!

Batting order decided from tiny bits of paper wrapped in an ex-narcotic bag, lead to Harris and Nutt to open up. Harris a brutal 28 Retired of just 18 deliveries with 2 maximums. Nutt, a more watchful 27 Retired off 31 balls. Gavlar buoyed from a quality bowling display nearly caught Nutter Jnr on his way to 28 retired off 25. All that was needed now was for the chuckle brothers, Howarth and Martin to bring it home. Under strict instructions NOT to run quick singles, Howarth then proceeded to hit the ball straight to a youthful fielder and set off at full Linford Christie pace. Martin at least 12 yards short of his ground was relieved to see the throw miss by inches and go straight to the boundary. A Nice tidy 5 runs for Howarth, pushing his S/R past the 100 mark.

A few more heaves and the game was won. Fitmen now 5-0 for the season. Quality ales and ciders quaffed. Many thanks to the Feckenham staff for putting some high quality burgers on. A perfect birthday evening played in great spirit. The oppo’ did enquire about where our talented ‘keeper had got to….they said they missed you Tuckerrrrrrr!!!!!