SCORECARD

Horatio’s Salty Sea Dogs Sunk By Mermaids

Old Moseley Arms Fitmen 138-6, Mermaids 142-3

Fitmen lose by 7 wickets

The scene was set, a perfect sunny evening, the Ashfield ground looking resplendent and a barrel of beer freshly delivered. So we welcomed our old sparring partners, the Mermaids to this verdant piece of God’s Own Country.

As you may recall, from a previous match report, Mermaids translates into French as Les Sirenes. The Sirens, in Greek Mythology, were dangerous yet beautiful creatures, who lured nearby sailors with their enchanting music and voices to shipwreck on the rocky coast of their island.

His Lordship Admiral Frost was determined to resist, however. The portents were good when the toss was won, and the decision taken to bat. Out strode Bice and Lurcio to face the wiles of the Mermaids. ‘Twas not long however, before Howarth was the first to succumb on a wicket that proved helpful to the medium pace and slow bowlers. Bice for once struggled to find his timing and followed shortly afterwards for 8. Tucker and Frost than took the score to 52, both looking well set before Tucker, having struck two successive 4’s off Rashid, missed the next one to be bowled for 17.

Next to join the fray was Green, who struggled to hit the ball like a man who’d forgotten to bring his bat, in the style of Bob Willis. Stick of Rhubarb was called for, Boycott’s Mother’s pinny requested, but eventually the middle of the bat was almost found and a couple of fours were plundered before swing...miss...bowled. Still, 16 was his highest score of the year so far. During this period his Lordship was in full sail, with spinnaker unfurled, being particularly severe on the bowler Ali... and also guilty of one of the classic cricket quotes in Fitmen history.

Scenario: Rob has just hit a four off a full toss. Frost “Remember, we can look for those singles Rob”.

The last four overs of the Fitmen Innings saw a two ball cameo from Ralphie, 15 off 10 from our “star bowler” Taz, his Lordship’s maiden midweek 50 and 8 off the last 3 balls from Sharif.

137 for 6 was better than could have been expected at the half-way point, and was pretty much felt to be a par score. It all depended on how the opening overs went.

The opening overs did not go well though. Ash’s first two went for 24, Ralphie’s for 15, demonstrating that the quicker bowlers would get less assistance from the pitch. This was not to take anything away from the Mermaids’ openers, who plundered the bowling. Together they put on 73 for the first wicket in less than 9 overs, before Tom Houlgate pulled off yet another sharp stumping off Sharif.

It seemed scarcely plausible that when Dan Malt finally fell for 60, courtesy of a neat catch by Richard Bice in the deep (Tucker having previously bowled the Mermaids’ No.3) that the result could have been in doubt. However, the match went down to the last over with the Mermaids still needing two for victory. First two balls from Ralphie, swing...miss...ball thuds into keeper’s gloves...could the impossible happen? Sadly not as the third ball flew over extra cover for 6.

A valiant effort from the Fitmen, but sadly his Lordship’s flagship finally ran aground on the rocks. And so to the bar, to celebrate Jim’s maiden midweek 50 and commiserate with Simon for “checking his drive”.