SCORECARD


Fitmen 231 all out (39.5 overs)
Walsall Health 164-9 (40 overs)
Fitmen win by 67 runs

After an eight year absence the Fitmen returned to Aldridge CC (est. 1853) to face Walsall Health – a match always contested at altitude (276m).
The vast expanse of outfield is located just down the road from Barr Beacon - historically the site of a beacon (no sh*t Sherlock) where fires were lit in times of impending attack or on celebratory occasions. Sunday was no exception - see: Sharif’s Scoreboard


The match
So what would this visit bring?

We don’t often go to Staffordshire so that was the first bit of excitement, a well-stocked bar was welcoming though we were half expecting a Wonga stand in the corner to assist with settling tabs (Strongbow £3; Carling about the same and 1 x Guinness plus 1 x Can of Pepsi a whopping £5.90). .

We also don’t often play at altitude so we confidently expected to find the 70 metre boundary would present little problem in either reaching (didn’t Mo train at altitude in Somalia before his Olympic Golds?) or returning the ball from (they kick the ball much further when playing the Springboks on the High Veldt).

The Batting

After a grunt at being asked to open, Chiz (19 @ 86) started the long hike out with Tom (32@ 84) to the middle – and the pair stayed put for the next 47 runs before ‘dog bite’ succumbed to a plumb leg before. Of course Chiz clearly got a thin edge/it was missing leg/it was a no ball for both height and over stepping .oh and Tuckerrrrr was actually Aleem Darrrrrrrrr.

In strode Ade (29 @ 69) at this time oblivious the fate laying ahead of him during the Health’s reply when he mistook the ball for a suppository. Everything was somewhat hazy to the spectators without binoculars but we would guess he must have clogged a few – though at a considerably slower rate to his standard contribution.

Tom then succumbed to having his middle stump knocked over - later claiming it was all down to a pinch point related to slipping box syndrome.

Man of the moment took the long walk out – not to return for quite some time. Sharif (53@83) slapped and grunted his way to an outstanding 50. Made all the harder by the 76 metre clubhouse boundary - never has someone heaved so much for so few.

A cautious interlude from Tuckerrrrr (6 @ 35) taking inspiration from Uncle Turgio preceded a pleasant cameo from Umberto (20 @ 100) including the only 6 of the game (to the shorter 70 metre boundary). Raj looked majestic with his 25 @ 147 accelerating the score at the right time in the last 5 overs before being run out. A frantic push for runs in the last two overs saw a rapid clatter as Chris and Guy failed to recreate their recent hitting exploits leaving Ash and a visibly shaken Chairman (10 consecutive DNBs brought to an end) to face the last two balls. Ash did the decent thing by getting bowled on 39.5 overs leaving the old fella stranded and happy.

231 was a formidable target even on a track that appeared to hold no demons.

Tea was consumed and happy munching seemed to indicate satisfaction whilst gazing at The Happy One on the big screen deflected from a proper assessment of the cakes.

The Bowling

‘Toni & Guy’ opened up with immediate success as Brentnall (7-2-11-1 @ 1.57) claimed the opener with his second ball. There was little in the way of loose ends for the first half dozen overs and even by 10 only 30 odd were on the scoreboard. With a wicket gone and effectively a 30 over game left it was going to be an uphill battle for ‘The Health’.

Thinking they’d seen off the main threat of Guy, on came Ash (8-2-29-3 @ 3.63) with probably the bowling display of the day. On a benign pitch this was a fine effort and if it didn’t win the match (which it probably did!), it certainly tightened the screw to squeaking point.
The ‘probably’ above was due to another bowling performance from Harris (8-0-35-3 @ 4.38). With Ash terrorising from one end, Rich pinged it through with a deceptive pace and just made sure of the win. Comedy moment of the day with Guy idly gazing at the car park from Cover point. It was like some game show where you face the wrong way, hear the bang, jump and turn around to test your reflexes…he failed and the ball struggled off towards the boundary.

The Prosecco moment though belonged to Chris Jones and a stunning caught and bowled low to his left. At 6’8” it takes a great deal of effort to catch one inches off the deck, but the advantage of his reach secured redemption after a dolly drop the week before!
Sharif tried to get quick points at the end but foiled by a determined attempt not to catch in the outfield denied him leadership of the wicket takers this season.

Post Match Points

Further vast quantities of sandwiches greeted the retiring teams and a well spent pound from Sharif ensured smiling service from behind the bar. A very enjoyable day out – let’s hope it becomes a regular fixture. The Fitmen batted and bowled exceptionally well, and ‘The Health’ can count themselves unlucky on this occasion to be outplayed. The Oppo clearly had some talented players who on another day would have made this clash a lot tougher than it turned out to be.

PS

Last couple of visit

Previous visits have generally been memorable including the most recent visit (2005) when Jason knocked up 200 on the top pitch. A few years before (the fixture was a regular in those days – and hopefully will return as such) there was a stunningly incompetent performance on the bottom pitch even by Old Mo standards.
In the course of that encounter The Fitmen (might even have been Prince of Wales Fitmen back then) dropped 13 catches. Staggeringly every single player that day boasted of at least one dolly. It got worse though. In the post-match ‘analysis session’ the half-wits playing for the visitors (the author of this report included) claimed that the opposition centurion’s feat was devalued and really should have gone down in the book as 107-7 in view of the lives we gifted him. Idiots.


Geographic & Historical Orientation

For naturists amongst us, (shurely some mishtake – try Clover Spa and Hotel you mean naturalists - Ed) the area is a 60 acres (25 ha) Local Nature Reserve and similar in size to the Aldridge outfield that would comfortable envelop Richmond Hill Road 4 times over.
Being one of the highest points in the West Midlands visible landmarks include The Wrekin, Cannock Chase, the Lickey Hills, Lichfield Cathedral, Aldridge Airport, and Birmingham city centre, and at least eleven counties are visible, including Powys in Wales.
Good old Colonel J. H. Wilkinson (Staffordshire Volunteer Infantry Brigade) purchased the land in 1919 and by Easter Monday (which fell on 21 April that year) it had become a haven for Black Country wildlife. The clubhouse has kept up that noble tradition judging by the contents on Sunday and the wood surrounding the playing area was a haven for that local tradition of dog baiting.

PPS - Chairman’s Watch

After seeing the Chairman almost face a ball, Statto did a bit of research and kindly informed him:
“Having quickly looked through the previous scorecards of the matches you have played in, you haven't had a bat since 19th August 2012 v Wombourne. Exactly 1 year, having played in 12 matches (plus one no result having gone off for rain) since then! In this time, we have batted for 418 overs, that's 2,508 legal deliveries, scoring 2,521 runs and losing 85 wickets. When you did bat last time, you scored 1 not out from 25 with quite possibly the most turgid strike rate in Fitmen history of 4. Congratulations.”