SCORECARD

Mermaids Capitalise on Fitmen Batting Frailties

Fitmen 103-8, Mermaids 106-5

Fitmen lose by 5 wickets

“My Granny could do better with a stick of rhubarb”. So speaks Sir Geoffrey and one can visualise Aggers and Blowers nodding sagely in agreement, usually in the context of some inept batting in the face of Anderson, Broad, Finn, Swann et al. The same could be equally said of the Fitmen top order in the face of the Mermaids bowling line-up. In fact, rhubarb sales to ladies of pensionable age have quadrupled in the greengrocery sections of the retail establishments in B13 and B14 during the past few days, in anticipation of a call up to bolster the ranks.

And so it was to be.

A beautiful sunny evening, a verdant outfield and sterling work by Steve and Neil on the pavilion frontage ensured that the Graveyard had never looked better. The wicket was firm, dry, with an even covering of grass and upon winning the toss, Monsieur le Capitan had no hesitation in opting to bat. The only dilemma was that with so many batsmen seemingly in form, how could the batting order be arranged without causing offence?

In the event, following the rapid departures of Tuckerrrr, Howarth, Chas, Green, Sunny and Frost for “not very many”, largely being architects of their own demise, it was left to Butcher, Martin and Sharif to provide some respectability to the Fitmen innings. In the face of a disciplined bowling and fielding performance by the Mermaids, the best that could be achieved, despite valiant efforts was a total of 103, about 20 runs short of a defendable total.

The mermaids began their innings in confident mood, taking many quick singles (a lesson for our batsmen perhaps), but when Butcher replaced Sunny the partnership was broken by a cannily flighted delivery. With Martin providing an accurate foil at the other end, wickets began to tumble, courtesy of catches to Sunny, Howarth, Tuckerrr and Nutterrr, such that after 8 overs the score stood at 33-5, Martin finishing with an outstanding 3-13 as the stand-out performance. The faintest sniff of victory was in the air, or was it the noxious emissions from “one of the Fitmen number”.

Around this time there was a shift in the space-time continuum, which Einstein's theories (backed up by the writings of Professor Stephen Hawking) ascribe to the gravitational effects of a large mass passing close by and caused the score to somehow jump to 51 over the next two overs. This bolstered the Mermaid batsmen’s confidence and despite valiant efforts by Nutterrrr, Sharif, Sunny and Chas, 103 was to prove too difficult to defend, though it took until the penultimate over for the total to be passed. 20 runs short was the correct conclusion to draw.

Matches against the Mermaids are always keenly contested and this was no exception. Hopefully there will be a reversal of fortune in the next fixture in August.

Thanks need to be expressed to the opposition for assisting with the covers following the game.