SCORECARD

Old Mo 90-9; Sportsman 94-3
Sportsman win by 7 wickets.
A game of two halves/wickets

By the time Jack Birkenshaw and his team of pitch inspectors rolled off the train from Lords it was all over.
Your special correspondent arrived three minutes after the start and found Si already back in the Cow Shed. This was a bit of a clue seeing as he’d scored his season debut 50 on the same pitch just 3 days earlier.

A different strip from last weekend’s close encounter spat like a Tasmanian Devil and made last weekend’s innocuous bowling more like the Windies of the Holding/Garner/Roberts/Marshall era.

The Sportsman had also gone on a 3 day youth shopping spree as they turned out a fielding side that could ..well.......field! The customary 3 years notice of this sort of anomaly was ignored to the bemusement of the old FitDuffers making steady and regular progress to and from the middle.

At one stage there was a distinct chance of no-one making double figures as the bounce varied from head height to no height off the same length. Jack claimed he gloved the 4 byes which if added to his 6 would have taken him into the hall of double figure fame, but you really had to score fast and hope your luck held – which generally didn’t.

Even Guy’s malodorous lycra basque (a Gray Nicholls creation dwarling) didn’t provide the glamour or luck expected and the steady fall of wickets presented a challenge to the speed writing of the scorers. Tempers were fraying as Sharrif’s polite enquiry in order to update the scoreboard was met with ‘I’ll tell you at the end of the over’ from Nutter - The Bearded Wonder’s apprentice. The wheels were not so much coming off as buckled and scrapped.

Sunny did his sage impression of Athers declaring that 50 would be a good score on this pitch (after his 3 ball duck) but the former Sportsman batting at 6 dug in. Having seen the ball zip past his ears, he figured the removal of his helmet would dent the bowling confidence but we finally got a gritty double figure score on the board so it must have worked.

However, our talented turncoat was finally done for and at 52 for 9 an early bath beckoned. What followed was equally bizarre. After 15 overs and one wicket remaining either the pitch started behaving or the two most talented batsmen in the northern hemisphere disguised as numbers 10 and 11 took their guard.

Jonny H Jnr and Volcanic Ash put on a rear guard action that threatened to go down in FitHistory. They smote the ball all over the postage stamp ground and put on almost 40 for the last wicket - the equivalent of Athers (getting obsessed with the Lancastrian I think) last stand in the land of the Vortrekkers.

However, back to reality and 90 was probably not going to be enough. The chasing side always fancies a low score even on a brute of a pitch, but at least the target was respectable and more than Ireland got in the world cup.
Due to the Ceylon Chicken calling, your dedicated hack had to leave them to it at half time secure in the knowledge that a pre-fielding huddle would galvanize the shell shocked veterans.

Whilst the rice was slightly over done, the chicken was beautifully tender and the marriage between South Indian cuisine and hints of the orient was complete..........until the text at dusk confirmed the end. The sobre missive read that consolation ales were being taken and confirmed that the recovery was in fact a double dip depression.

Still – we shall rebound, re-group and prepare for a return to the pinnacle of the game with a visit to Oak’n’Ash in Royal Sutton Coldfield on Sunday. A new venue and a new opposition – just hope Jack Burkenshaw has stayed over for a few days just in case.

Apologies to anyone who bowled or fielded well………….I didn’t hang around for that pleasure………