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Fixtures and Results | Match Reports

Date Against H/A Link Result Captain/Score
Thu 4 / 5 / 2017 Whitehall Wanderers Away Won by 26 runs. Old Mo 172-5. Oppo 146


The Umpire Strikes Back

Well finally, we get a game. After last week’s T20 fixture was snowed off, a joyful 15oC sun filled day allowed a motley crew to board their various x-wing fighters, Millennium Falcons and Death Stars to arrive at the splendid space port of Barnt Green.

A number of rebel Fitmen, met for Pan Galactic Gargle blasters (Aspalls) in the Mos Eisley on the planet Tatooine before-hand, to discuss tactics and garb.

Tucker had been shopping and didn’t disappoint with a couple of quality items. Howarth had apparently ordered his equipment from Nutt’s toy emporium – more of that later. Picking this week’s side had not been without it’s difficulties. R2D2 (Bal) had broken his proboscis and was out. C3P0 (Jonesy) was in for an oil change and let’s not even get started on our very own Chewbacca Lockyer, down with Wookiitus.

Thank god for Obi Wan (TC) stepping in to the breach to (yet) again to save the Universe. Special Thanks also to Han Solo making a 3 hour journey down the M6 to plug a gap (apparently he had previously made the Kesel run in 12 parsecs but that had been before the introduction of those dreaded new average speed check cameras).

Well without a coin to toss, the ever genial Whitehall skipper proffered up a “guess which hand the crumpled fiver is in” option….south of Birmingham, obviously the left and so the Fitmen decided to have a bat. More crumpled bits of paper in a batting order lottery led to the unfamiliar opening partnership of Sharif and Dangerous Dave swooping out to the middle.

Umpires Darth Vader (Bice) and Princess Leia (Howarth) kindly offered their services for the opening exchanges. What the Whitehall players must have thought from the Vadar mask and Leia wig with Wookie cries from the stands, god only knows. Nutt’s toy emporium had come up trumps, although Howarth looked a cross between Benny Hill and the Cheeky Girls in his syrup.

Both Sharif and Dave were obviously both from the dark side plundering runs at will. Sith Lord Sharif with a fine 27 off 19, Dave finding things a little trickier managed 12 off 18 before being caught. Gavlar is one of those beings not really arsed about all this “Force” bollox, think more of a Texas hold em’ bounty hunter, Cad Bain. He came, smote a four and then departed. No loose ends. Tidy.

Tucker entered the fray armed with his powerful, fully knocked in, light sabre and demolished the Whitehall attack akin to an Imperial Star Cruiser taking out a small Ewok settlement. 4,6,1,1,1,6,1,1,6 – BOOM. Top of the Six-Ometer, retired not out for an immense 27 off just 12. 84 for 10 off 10, things were going well.

We all know of the underlying sexual tension between the Han Solo and Leia characters and so it was no different when young Habib Solo and Princess Howarth came together. Things were bubbling along nicely and then pow. Yes, No….Come on then and the Princess had sold our hero down the river to be left yards short of his crease run out. We could have done with cryogenically freezing Habib at this point, coz he wasn’t happy. Howarth smashing the very next 2 long hops for four, did nothing to dampen his ardor. The glee when the now daubed Cheeky Girl was herself run out (for a well-played 19 off 10) was palpable.

Lord Vice delivered a much needed and brutal 28 off 22 to push the score on. Not so, skipper and Dark Lord Martin after waiting 8 MONTHS for a bat, out for a silver duck C&B. The innings was then wrapped up with Tom Houlgate (note no Hutt comments) and Cheeky girl 2 Rob Nutt, adding a vital 20 runs in the last 2 overs. Zirco 12 off 14 and Nutt 7 off 6. 172 for 5 a big total.

Quick change around as the light side was fading fast, much to the glee of the Sith contingent. There is only one Obi Wan Caesar (you’re our only hope) and so asking this mighty Jedi to open up the bowling was obvious. The Whitehall opener however bashed 16 off the 1st over and a further 12 off Obi Wan’s next to destroy any economy championship award chances by May the 4th. Healy was excellent conceeding only 6 off his 2.

Rob Nutt grabbed the first wicket of the innings and should have had two but for an act of petulance by Habib Solo, who so resented the Leia wig wearers that he purposefully dropped (so he says) a dolly of a catch.

Special mention though to the other Fitjedi with all other catches taken by Sharif, Howarth and Gavlar. Some good ground fielding, a run out and 2 smart stumping’s from Tom H, all helping to keep the wickets falling and the needed run rate increasing.

Gavlar Cad Bain served up some looping full tosses and half trackers to (very sportingly) make the game much closer and with 29 garnered from his 2, victory suddenly seemed in a galaxy far, far away…..We shouldn’t have worried though because with Imperial Battle Cruiser Tucker (2 for 11) in “win” mode, Emperor Sharif (1 for 6) and Habib Solo (1 for 15) all we needed to do was keep the tail enders in, not allow the blitzkrieg opener back in and the game was ours.

Princess Howarth had other ideas. 2 Wickets in his first three balls set up an improbable hatrick opportunity. Surprisingly the skipper left all fielders on the boundary for said Hatrick as Mr Blitzkrieg sauntered back in. Next ball 6, ball after 6. Game on. The Dark Lord Martin hardly helped matters, rudely taking Howarth out of the attack to try and destroy the death star himself. What a glory hunter! First over smashed for 12. Not such a hero now.

Darth Vice then bowled a fantastic over grabbing the 9th wicket and allowing only 7runs, but Whitehall only needed 28 off 3. Time to press the self-destruct button? Never. The Glory hunter felt the force and managed to bowl the Whitehall opener for an excellent 52 to wrap up proceedings.
What a fantastic opening T20 game. Beers and banter afterwards. See you all in 2022, when the next May the Fourth be with you match will be played out.