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Fixtures and Results | Match Reports

Date Against H/A Link Result Captain/Score
Sun 13 / 9 / 2015 Barford Home Won by 3 wickets. Oppo 211-8. Old Mo 212-7.


Champagne Charlies prevail in tight finish

Cricket (and spiced food) triumphed in an excellent match – the last home game of the 2015 season.
After a brilliant start to the season of winning the toss, the 33rd spin of the year plopped down on heads, correctly called by the Barford skipper and the Fitmen were promptly asked to bowl. Whether this was due to the bleary eyed Fit skip for the day mentioning a £20k bar tab on Friday or the gallons of bubbly consumption at the Fitskipper’s annual luncheon of the previous day, we will never know. With Harris working to Croatian time still an hour away, seasoned 12th man and club Chairman stepped in to fill the void.

A devilish opening attack of Sunny “hot wings” Singh and Ian “Egg Mayo” Nutt were called upon to try and grab some early wickets. Sunny was swinging it a mile and beat the outside edge of both batsmen on numerous occasions. Nutter offered up his whole gambit, sacrificing several pawns to try and tempt the big hitting Barford opener (Farquar) to smash one to hand rather than to (and over) the boundary rope. The big lad reached his fifty in only the 11th over. Thank the lord the other opener was more fitmanesqe in his approach nerdling his way to double figures.

Sharif (sponsored by BCL(?)) TC (Heidsieck Monopole) and Ralph (RAF) were all asked to turn their arms over in an attempt to dislodge Farquar who smashed his way to a fantastic 87. Mo managed to drop him off a Sharif no-ball – apparently done on purpose, but at drinks with the score on 108-0 a huge Barford total was on the cards.

The drinks break though did the trick, as the 21st over turned out to be eventful. With Fitskip suffering a dreadful bout of gout hobbling around to everyone’s amusement, the batsmen saw their chance to go for an all run 4. How very dare they? Quick wang to Tuckerrr who then smartly threw from 22 years to shatter the stumps and the first wicket was ours. How I got credited for the run-out I will never know and now it’s in the match report, lets see how quickly Tucks gets that changed!
It’s never easy to sit in the pavilion for an hour or two watching a big opening partnership and so it was for the Barford number 3 who only lasted 1 ball. The number 4 didn’t last too long either and suddenly Ralphie had 2 and they were 112-3.

Leading wicket taker Sharif, (barracked by 2nd place Bal) upped his game and should have had the big lad out caught by the flying Ralph and was unlucky to finish with 0-39. With hands still stinging from the drop, Ralphie turned the game in the Fitmen’s favour by bowling Farquar to finish with fine figures of 6-1-19-3. With Skip ruled out by gout, it was the turn of (separated at birth) spin twins Umburto and Bal to finish the job. Bal 3-34, had the chance of another hatrick and is now only 7 behind Sharif. Harris got bored of bowling full tosses, reverted back to seam and started to bowl well. Sunny steamed back in to finally get the reward of a wicket and Nutter bowled the last…a dot ball off the final ball of the innings….211 for 8 was a good effort and a competitive target.

Tea was terrific. Highlights: Egg mayo – Gold star. Howarth’s home-made jam – WI standard. Sunny’s wings – Man vs Food rating. Pork products – Good to soft. Fitskip Lunch left overs – excellent.
Although this Fitskip will miss the smart remarks, field placing suggestions, 50+ weekly texts to get a team together and general banter in the next 7 wintry months, I will not miss the nightmarish task of herding 11 ego’s into a batting line up. After much gnashing of teeth and pulling of eyelashes, the terrifying task was done.

This week “Lucky” openers were Tom C (obvs) and Tuckerrr. First task – lend the oppo’ a fielder – TY Bal. Next task, scorer – TY Nutter. Final task, umpires anyone? – TY Sunny, ahhh Mr Green (popped down for a beer whilst t’chuck was in t’oven t’cooking) – Job done.
Needing 34 for your 700 Tom to cap a fantastic season? Not so. Not today sunshine. Green proved to have the fastest finger in the west and kerpow! Tom was back in the changing room out for a 3rd ball LBW.

An arbiter is someone selected to judge and settle a dispute. When Doc and Grumpy disagreed over whose turn it was to stay late at the mine, they chose Snow White as an arbiter.
I chose Rob Green as my arbiter. Fair play to Rob – it’s a tough job. If it’s out it’s out.

In at 3 (just for you Mr H), our very own Achilles. The Barford opening bowler was hooping it down in the overcast conditions and after 18 balls one snuck through the tiniest of gaps between bat and pad and Howarth was back consoling Tom in the hutch. No drama – because in at 4 was Super Mo closing in on his 1,000 runs! Just 3 balls later and the Barford bowler struck again, clean bowled this time and the Fitmen were 12-3.

Luckily, the batting just kept coming. In at 5 in his last home match for a while, Ralph came to the crease with a sensible head on. Restricted to just 2 lusty boundaries in 23 balls, things were going along nicely with Tucker the mentor until a misjudgement and Mike was out Bowled for 12 just bringing up his 400th run. Not many on the board. Extra’s top scoring, but Tucker had his eye in. He just needed partners to stick around.

Sharif elevated to the lofty heights at number 6 ! 39 balls, 4 boundaries and a 50 partnership with Tucker who had accelerated nicely to a fantastic 52 ball fifty was just what was needed and at drinks, scores were about par on 100-4.
The game was still in the balance when Sharif spooned one to point. Harris demoted to 7 for tardy time keeping was not what Barford expected from your typical number 7. In he came. Barry blocked the first ball (to get his eye in) and then delivered blitzkrieg 37 off only 18 balls with 5 4’s and 2 monster 6’s to turn the tide. Incredibly he shouldered arms to a straightish one, but now only 5 an over was required.

The classic snowman position of number 8, so ably filled by Sunny, lasted only 1 ball with one than kept low. Enter the fray Captain Gout in at number 9. Still 40 odd needed. Overs weren’t the problem. Tucker having been run ragged for 2 hours possibly was. It was time for Captain one shot. 5 boundaries for Gouty and 3 from Tucker and the game was won. Man of the Match performance from Tucker. A superb bat carrying 77 not out. Along with his catch, quality ‘keeping and possible claim to a run-out…what a day for the grumpy Cumbrian!

An excellent win. Friendly opposition. Quality Chicken curry afterwards (thanks Mrs Mo). What more could you want from the last home game? Thanks to Steve, Kate and all bar/tea team for help across the year. A really enjoyable season to remember!