SCORECARD

Monsoon Fails to Stop Harvington Onslaught
Harvington 297-5 (adjusted to 185) beat Fitmen 148-6 by 37 runs

A week is a long time in sport. And so the reluctant captain (TC Jnr) found out for his season debut / season curtain call (delete as appropriate, both are the same) on a Sunday following the driest period in the Midlands for the entire history of mankind. What started as a solid 11 on the Sunday before went through the highs and lows of professional sport in the days leading up to the match, heading down to 9 with changes in plans, bad body parts, then 8, then possibly back to 10 before settling on 9. This was with the potential of a return of Eddie according to Spond (didn’t happen) and/or the promise of 2 fielders from the oppo captain.

The forecast of grey and miserable weather turned up overnight on Saturday and into Sunday morning but arriving at Harvington with roller covers on the wicket, the rain had soon disappeared. The oppo captain had found Laurence from Elmley Castle to help us out, taking us back to double digits but kindly declined the previous offer of a spare fielder, despite a team full to the brim of uber keen, energy filled teenagers practicing their running around on the outfield. Out of practice captain called heads in Worcestershire (idiot) and the Fitmen were asked to bowl and field on a ground that made the Oval look like Richmond Hill Road – no-one told me the size of this ground beforehand.

With a pace attack featuring the ever reliable Was and an even more reluctant Caesar brother, it was expected to be a long day in the field covering what appeared to be about 6 hectares of grass….and so it was. Despite some accurate bowling and good assistance off the wicket, the opening pair waited for the occasional stray ball and slotted it nicely into the parts of the ground without fielders (most places). The opening bowlers were somewhat unlucky not to get a wicket and so it was that the captain decided to bring on the ever-parsimonious Bal and singer/songwriter Stevie Nicks. Never could Stevie’s singles “Heroes are Hard to Find”, “Save Me” and the remix “[Can We Put Our Fielders] Everywhere”, be more appropriate.

Bal had the batsmen second guessing themselves and between Steve’s bouncers and beamers, there were some good moving balls, eventually taking the breakthrough wicket with about 80 on the board, a sharp gully catch by Will to remove the talented opener. Bal’s twirlers continued, keeping his end tight (parp) at around 4.5 per over before taking a loopy caught and bowled and tickling the leg stump of the other opening to leave the oppo at something for 3. Stevie Nicks was unlucky not to have another after a sharp stumping where the umpire and batsman both appeared to be unaware that the crease belongs to the keeper.

Nutter took up the mantle after Steve, with the batsmen switched on enough to use the vast plains of Harvington to sit back and twonk it over to the boundary. Even covering with 3 people in the deep left a great expanse to choose their spot rather than being tempted to charge down the wicket. This kept the run rate high and difficult for the bowlers to find the right spot, the captain rapidly realising why he only plays one match annually.

Nokia warmed up as a replacement after Bal’s great spell (8-0-37-2) looking to toss up a handful of special balls to see what the inform batsmen fancied. More aiming for the square leg boundary ensued until Nokia got his rewards with a classic double bouncing devil ball, with the umpire clarifying the rules to confirm it was indeed out – hard luck to the oppo keeper who had been looking forward to a slap around for the afternoon. Harry took over from Nutter but by that point the batters were in full flow, with a slightly deflated bunch of Fitmen, so the runs kept on coming.

The opening Ws returned to try and grab a couple of wickets, with Was getting the top scoring number 3 trying to launch another one to the boundary, TC pouching one at point, whilst Will ended up on the sharp end of the inform batsmen, seeing a few balls sail past on the way to the boundary, leaving Harvington finishing their innings (and all Fitmen eternally thankful) on 297-5. Easy.

And so to tea. A wide ranging selection of meal deal sandwiches, the occasional salad box, some natural cashews and buckets of crisps allowed some time during the dry interval to prepare mentally for what was about to come. Once ready with pads, the heavens opened and the floods were upon us in a biblical downpour for a solid 20 minutes. Fitmen rapidly took the pads off, looked at the skies with delight and began packing up, not having to attempt the 7.5 per over run “chase”. The oppo captain and the overly keen teens had other plans, deciding that the use of a pitchfork, spikes and lashings of sawdust to aid the drainage would be the way forward – and quite amazingly they were right, with an agreed reduction to 25 overs and an adjustment to 186 to win (Nutter's DLS calculation system not required). I’m sure the groundsman will be pissed though, when he returns from his bender at the gee-gees.

Bice and Harry started brightly but both lost their wickets early which led to a classic Fitmen collapse, especially painful in very sticky conditions and a sodden outfield that now barely allowed the ball to get halfway to the boundary with a good biff. Even 186 was going to be a challenge. Stevie Nicks ended in a “Whole Lotta Trouble” bowled by a good’un before the captain came in with the intention of patting back half volleys as per. It didn’t take long for another 3 Fitmen to disappear, with stand in Laurence spooning one up, Nokia wanting to copy the exact same shot to the exact same small boy, before Waseem then froze inside the line of a standard offbreak, out for a golden, fitting for the conditions on the outfield.

In strode Caesar slightly less junior, to join for an afternoon in what was now beautiful sunshine, the wicket drying up and the outfield getting a touch faster. 10 an over (I think, sounds about right ish) with just 2 more batters in the roost felt unlikely, so both played themselves in to see what could be done. Having not played for 1 year and 2 years respectively, the batting was somewhat agricultural, TC (59*) playing solely in a V between square leg and midwicket, owing to the stodginess of the wicket, with the oppo kindly leaving the boundary open. William (39*) provided the biff with some lovely shots down the ground for a delightful unbeaten partnership of 96. Whilst the run rate continued to climb, the batters tried as they might but miscuing was the order of the day.

Finishing on a 4, the Fitmen fell short by just under 40 runs. It was felt that with a matching 10 players and a drier outfield to prevent the ball plugging, maybe that total would have been in reach. But if ifs and buts were candys and nuts, then everyday would be Erntedankfest.

A good game against a good oppo, all played in good spirit as usual, with zero disagreement. Thanks to Harvington for pushing to get the game back on and thanks to Laurence for being our 10th man, as well as everyone who turned up for not picking up life threatening injuries in the lead up to the match.