Well that was a good day eh?

After 43 weeks or 301 days or 7224 hours depending upon how much you have missed cricket, FINALLY the Fit clan came together for a cracking day in the sun. Outdoor nets had been well attended but it was some sight to see the full squad of talent assemble at the Graveyard. Some had used lockdown to shed pounds through vigorous training regimes. Others had built extensions, laid patios or transformed gardens into Oasis of tranquillity. Most had done the sum total of diddly squat, drank themselves into near oblivion and couldn’t believe that 15 weeks of minimal Home working had passed in the blink of an eye.

With so many Fit legends dying for a game, team selection was always going to be problematic. Fit vs Fat, Old vs Young, Left vs Right were all suggested but with Stevie Nicks being dragged into Captaincy kicking and screaming (welcome to the club mate) a hasty Saturday morning phone call was all that was needed. The “Fitnicks” team had a nice balance of athleticism and cynicism whilst the “Tonnes of Fun” team had some serious heavyweights in their line-up. With rules of 35 and retire to make sure everyone got a bat and no being triggered LBW if you are yet to score (if that would ever happen) in place, we were all set for a classic 40 over a side game.

Perfect weather, 21 degrees, gentle breeze and a touch of cloud cover combined with a Green wicket got the seam bowlers salivating. No game can ever begin without Fraz being late (midday meet = 1.30pm arrival), Tasker not turning up at all (again) and the majority of players necking 2 bottles of amber nectar. Nicks called heads twice after accusing Dawes of foul tossing, schoolboy error as we all know South of Brum = tails and so it was the Fitnicks were inserted to bat.

Harry and Tucks opened the batting, with Sunny, new cherry in hand waiting on his mark for the umpire to allow play to begin. 301 days! The atmosphere was electric. Sunny, first ball…..massive leg side wide whistling to the boundary. 5-0 off no balls! This is why we love the Fitmen…match reports simply write themselves (ffs). Once the laughter had died down, Sunny actually bowled a nice spell beating the outside edge on numerous occasions. Harry timed some glorious cover drives off Martin and Tucker feasted on anything short with his signature cultural leg side shot selection. 36 for 0 off 8 a solid start.

Jonesy and Waseem first change kept the pressure on with both bats struggling to time shots, as it was to be for everyone for the rest of the day due to the nature of the pitch. Jonesy got Harry with a peach of a cutter for a well-played 17. Nice 50 opening partnership by this pair. Lovely duel between 2 talented cricketers then ensued with Waseem finally luring Sam Moore into a mis-timed drive to be pouched by the sprightly Bice. Celebrations slightly curtailed by the sight of our new Uber signing, Juma sauntering out. Tucks tickling along nicely on his way to a 35 retired? No wait, who’s this coming out to Umpire? Oh it’s our very own level 3 ECB Coach Rob Green. He wrote the rule book (whilst running out Viv Richards), “Howszat?” asks Waseem as Tucks misses a leg glance. The finger of Doom. Luckily Dr Weed had to immediately go and pad up as he was in next so at least Chas in at 5 could rest easy. Tucker LBW Green for 30. Well played sir.

Only 2 batsman managed a +100 SR on the day and watching Juma transfer his obvious talent from both the winter and summer nets onto a tricky, sticky dog of a wicket only bodes well for the Fitmen. Hitting two maximums and having the courtesy of aiming for the oak tree so we don’t lose the ball says it all really. Chas deceived by Jones at least got to face 6 balls before departing. Singh when you’re winning, one of my favourite chants and a great 2nd change pair, Raj and Bal asked to come into the attack around drinks with the score 79-3. Lockyer in aggressive mood as always, bludgeoned 5 off 21 before Raj grabbed his first of 3 wickets with a solid assist from Bal.

Another magical umpiring change did for Green (poetic justice?). The sight of Rear Admiral Frost of the Finger flotilla gambolling out for some action has sunk the hearts of many a batsmen. Rob would have simply left a leg stump long hop in normal circumstances, but panicked with the fear of it flicking the pad/thigh/anything he swooshed, top edged and handed Raj his 2nd victim. Raj then snagged Sharif for a superb 3-28 off 7 overs and the tide had turned. Bal twirled away nicely for 7 overs grabbing the wicket of Nicks. Dave Moore just back from a heart attack Bowled Nutter in a really nice 3 overs for only 10 runs at the death. Just time for Fraz to smack 15, Nutter to nurdle 8 and Stu to grab 5 before becoming Waseem’s 2nd victim and 179 for 10 was posted at Tea.

Hmmm..Tea. Normally a good 30-40 words on the subject, but due to ECB rulings, BYO sandwiches just doesn’t cut the mustard. Sunny’s wings looked excellent. Harris had cleverly brought a flask of tea (no sugar), but that’s about all I can say. The only slight pisser of the day. As teas are the key reason for playing on a Sunday, whether Home or Away.

I am yet to get to the bottom of recently invested Fitman, Timmsy’s “Sunday arrangements”. Following; “I can only net at midday due to a strict 2PM Luncheon engagement” and “I can’t make it till 3PM due to a pre-arranged dogging convention”, you be the judge. I’m saying nothing. Anyhow, the lad can bowl. 5 overs 1 Maiden 1 for 15. Quality figures against Tom C and a swashbuckling Gavlar. I will caveat with Tucker pulling off one of the finest stumpings of Tom I think we will see this season and the fact Gavlar had pre-ordered a chicken Tikka wrap AND Chicken Biryani from the covered Wagon, but I’m taking nothing away from him. Great work.

Fraz wearing petrol station plastic hand coverings with 2 finger tips bitten out, up the hill into a slight breeze is a sight to behold. We can only hope that he disposed of the gloves in a similar manner to the way he disposed of the cream of the Tonnes of Fun top order. Gavlar sniffing Tikka comprehensibly bowled. Howarth caught in a fine gauge drift net, fishing outside of off stump caught quite brilliantly by Nicks in the slips. Some consternation around whether Si should be allowed to continue having faced only 2 balls, but the quality of the catch would have been diluted and Chas was out Bowled for a duck earlier. Promise to bat you 1-5 all season Si to make up for it x. Nice 2 fer for Fraz.

The normally ebullient Harris dulled slightly following 60 hours work at the Black Market, delivered a 100+ SR 23 with 3 4’s but charged Mould inappropriately and was out Bowled. Bicey still seething at the lack of quality cake during the tea interval harrumphed to a good 15 before chopping on to Mould again and the TOF innings was stalling. Jonesy batted sensibly against some excellent probing stuff from Juma to hold things together. Sunny promoted up to 7 just before drinks at last had his chance to face 20 overs and get a good score in. 2 balls, 2 singles. All looking good. Seeing it like a beach ball. Jonesy smashes it straight at Nicks…”RUN”! Sunny is just too nice a man. “Oh go on then”….6 feet short…..Handled being mugged like a pro. Proper Fitman. Just you watch those wings Jonesy. Revenge is a dish best served HOT.

A Gout riddled Skip and unrepentant Jones then added 66, aided by lots of wides to drag the match around. I knew Stevie Nicks wasn’t happy about being blagged into being a Fit Skipper for the next decade but the first ball beamer was nearly an eye opener! A veritable Hong Kong Phooey in our midst. Mild mannered Janitor? Have some of that…bosh. Jones finally out LBW to Harry Eames bowling really good seam up swing (why the looping spin at Edgbaston H?) allowed Waseem in to crack a 4 before being sold down the river Run Out by skip. Ian Nutt along with Chas attempted to twirl the last couple out, with Nutter particularly unlucky not to grab a wicket but it was Raj and Bal after their tandem bowling exploits bringing the game home with the bat with a couple of overs to spare.

A superb day out I hope we all agree. Special thanks to Steve and Kate for running the bar. Everyone who has been involved in making today happen – many thanks. Bring on the Oppo’ !!!