SCORECARD

Fitmen Fail despite Fresh faces

We all thought that the mid-week season had drawn to a close, trophies in the bag and the champagne on ice, ready for the Awards ceremony in December. But no! Some bright spark had agreed to a hastily re-arranged fixture with the ever genial Wavis FC, on a Tuesday night with the predicted sunset at 8.08PM. The chance to roll the mid-week Fit stats in a tiny smattering of glitter? The first season since stats began a decade ago, where the mid-week team had failed to win more than they lost (W4 L6). The 14-0 season of 2015 seems like a long lost memory.

With a glut of Fitmen unavailable (Holidays, Funerals, Cuttings, Peaky Blinder repeats and couldn’t be arsed amongst this week’s list), so it was that 3 debutants stepped out onto the hallowed turf at Solihull Municipal. With the minimal amount of playing time available 15 x 8 ball overs and bowl 8 from one end was decided upon. Everyone had to bowl an over and retire at 25, again the rules with no LBW to cut down on bickering/arguing…but where there’s a will there’s a way. Someone will find something to moan at and so it was that Stumping’s were the night’s bone of contention.

Howarth gladly accepted the role of escorting debutant one, Mr Bruce Thomlinson to the middle to get things underway. Under pressure from his skipper, Howarth dotted one to get himself in and then “Do a Stokesy” and smash the next one out of the ground. The ball had other ideas, clipping the top of off. Debutant Two, Bas Mohammed then sauntered in and settled in for a very relaxed 26 off 43 deliveries. Some very cultured shots whilst defending against accurate bowling, the 2 newbies put on a good stand. Bruce, a very talented cricketer, brought in on a free transfer by Jonesy, smacked 26 off 16 before retiring. 3 fours and a 6 in an exceptional, chanceless, aggressive knock.
Jones came in and continued the good work, but a calamitous middle order collapse changed the direction of the game.

Habib faced 3 before being bowled. Skipper having spent hours cajoling/bribing people to play, took longer to walk out and back in, than the first ball golden duck. The top edge allowed enough time for an entire rant and rage against the injustice of a goldie, before the keeper bagged the catch. Utter garbage. Rob Green at least scored 8 runs from his 5 balls before being bowled. Rizwan debut number three, scored 2 off 6 balls and Lockyer, asked to have a swish from the off, followed orders to the letter delivering 2 off 5. At least all of this allowed the multi-talented Faraz to deliver a superb cameo, with super star movie Director “Quentin” Lockyer to watch from the non-strikers end. 22 runs with 2 maximums at least got the Fitmen past three figures to finish on an under par 116 for 7.

With a small total to defend, wickets were at a premium and fielding would need to be tight. On the whole, the Fitmen put bodies on the line and bowled good lines. Faraz grabbed a wicket and bowled some absolute beauties. Jonesy snagged 3 wickets to not only take the the mid-week bowling award with both hands, but gave it a quick polish and put it in the trophy cabinet under lock and key. 13 wickets @13.38 and a SR of 12.3, an impressive return for 2019.

Bas Mohammed bowled really well with good accuracy and spin. Rizwan unlucky not to get a wicket, bowling well on debut. The next four bowlers swung/span/quassimodoed the Fitmen back into the game. Allowing only 23 runs off 32 deliveries, words can’t express the collective overs of Habib, Quentin, Howarth and Nutt. Ploppers, wrong un’s, very wrong un’s, vegetable product, flippers and loopers…they were all there. Stock balls were out-numbered by variation 2 to 1. Classic, quality bowling.

Bruce had time to whip down some sharp off-spin which left Wavis FC needing 4 off the last over. Which they got after 4 balls, to win by 5 wickets. Fair play to the oppo for making a game of it and taking it into the last over. Habib questioning a gentlemen’s body fat % was hilarious, especially seeing how much cheese our agent provocateur heaped on his chip butty after the game.

So W4,L7 endeth the season. There’s always next year to return to winning ways, especially if we can blag Bruce back for a game or 2…..