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Fixtures and Results | Match Reports

Date Against H/A Link Result Captain/Score
Sun 2 / 7 / 2017 Blackwood Home (YW) Won by 147 runs. Old Mo 267-7. Oppo 120


Old Uncle Mo Hammers Blackwood (phnarr phnarr)

Fitmen 267-7, beat Blackwood, 120 all-out, by a Ronnie Maximum (147)

Some shady Fitmen skulked across the outfield at 1:30 pm, being careful not to be spotted as a Big Hitters Junior Cricket Festival was still in progress...one can only ponder at the reasons why...
So, with the start delayed, the oppo' Skipper waltzed to the middle with our very own Sly, no doubt discussing the standard topics on offer - line up; batting track; registers...
Unfortunately, our Royal Omar was without coin, so the oppo' kindly offered up a somewhat Heady coin and displayed this, both sides, to Sharif...one can only speculate as to the ensuing dialogue:
[Oppo' Skipper] - "look - see this - I'll flip it...you call HEADS...got it?? HEADS...OK?"....
[Sharif] - "where are we?? Are we Birmingham are we?? The lads tell me it should be Tails rrrrr kid"
[Oppo' Skipper] - "take a closer look at the coin.....you need to shout HEADS..."
[Sharif] - "well ok then..I guess it is Heads"....

Drama over, Sherrif did the noble thing and decided to have a bat - well, not him as such but the Fitmen.

Once he had located his batting gloves, Old Uncle Mo set the tone with Gaverlaaaaa, smashing anything wayward to all parts. Gav smote a six over the old scorebox before deciding the Carling must now be chilled enough to call it a day in the middle. Our insiders tell us that he has been "Bowled - small girl" already this summer...
22 for 1 off 5.
Tuckerrrr joined Uncle Mo, the pair adding 70 odd for the second wicket in 10 overs, Tuckerrrr being spectacularly (some suggest spectacularly lucky...?) caught at square leg for 43 (5 x fours; 1 x six).
94 for 2 off 14.
Mo was then joined by his old foil Tahir, making his season debut in 26° heat with yes - his jumper on.
Some classy stroke-making saw this pair add a quite remarkable 120 in under 20 overs, with T making 44 (also 5 x fours; 1 x six).
218 for 3 off 32.
Despite the rest trying and failing to stick around with Mo, (Jonesy caught hitting out; Ade C & B; Sunny caught (not for 60-odd); and Sharif valiantly running himself out), the Fitmen (read Mo) amassed 267 thanks to a great 132 not-out from Uncle Mo (15 x fours; 4 x sixes).
Fitmen 267-7.

The cheese'n'pickle were the perfect quencher for the Inferno Wings, and some yellow? Mustard added to the egg mayo was sublime. With pakora, samosa, crisps and Caterpillar Chocolate cake, all (well most) were speechless at the sumptuous offerings.
Tongues soon wagged when the buds were fired up by the wings however, and they were still the talk of the tea as the oppo' set about their target.

With a very brave slip in place, Sunny opened up from the golf course end, accompanied by Bal at the other end.
Sunny managed prodigious swing from the off, and helped himself to two wickets in 5 overs (5-2-10-2). Bal put the brakes on any aggressive reply immediately, reminiscing about his 7-fer against the same opponents two years ago. Bal bowled through for great figures of 8 overs, 1 maiden, 1 wicket for 38, the wicket being a nice (and very calm) catch being taken by Sharif on the cover boundary.
Sensing the oppo' needing to up the rate, the Skipperrrrr changed attack and tempo bringing on River dancer DDH and his good self. With the sweat pouring from all parts, the Mostly Men was in danger of staining the forehead, but struggle on he did.
Dave shuffled in for a wicket-less 5 overs (5-1-9-0); Sharif picked up a wicket in his 5 overs (5-0-26-1); before the end was summoned by Raj and Ade.
Raj was right on the money, and bowled beautifully, mixing massive swingers with his cheeky, and very effective, slower ball, bagging 3 wickets in 5 overs, thanks again to a very smart catch from Sharif - Raj finishing with 5-1-17-3.
Time to stretch the old Hammy for Ade, and a gentle 2 overs proved fruitful (thankfully not painful), bagging 2 wickets for only 9 runs. One of the wickets was a 10-year-old mind you, and was his second in successive balls, so Ade is on a hat-trick next game - jug ready please Steve....

Oppo 120 all-out

So Sharif has the same record as disgraced England Manager Big Sam Allardyce - Played 1 Won 1....and we all know what happened next....