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Fixtures and Results | Match Reports

Date Against H/A Link Result Captain/Score
Sun 14 / 5 / 2017 Alvechurch C.C Away Won by 7 wickets. Oppo 154-7. Old Mo 160-3.


Fitmen slaughter Alvechurch in Houlgate's Abattoir

Fitmen, 160-3, beat Alvechurch C.C., 154-7, by 7 wickets

With a plethora of Fitmen to choose from early season, the XI for Sunday away to Alvechurch was already confirmed by lunchtime on the Monday prior to the game. Thanks go to those that were contacted with apologies post-selection. One of those unlucky to have missed the cut (due to InterCostal coughing breakages) was the Midweek Skipper Samuel L, who turned up with family to boost the FitSupport contingent by 3. He had plenty to mull over as there were numerous stand-out performances on show.

Houlgate's Abattoir is apparently a Red Bodied 7.8% Bulls Blood warmish ale, splatters of which could be seen on the dressing room wall prior to the Fitmen taking the field. This set the tone for the day, and with a penny being flipped a call of Tails ensured the Fitmen had the choice - bowl first was decided, based on an early morning shower and a forecast that was to dry up later in the day.

Northern Soul Guy was requested to tame the new Dukes, along with Raj, and with a couple of seasoned Lefties opening for the oppo', things ticked along at 4-ish per over. 9 overs in and Sharif takes the cherry, setting his field and declaring to the Umpire "Right Arm Over.....Hang on - are they Left Handed are they???- OK, Right Arm round".....sight screen moving required accompanied by bags of sighs and FFS's.
50 off 10 was a fair clip, and we were lookng at a 250+ chase - until the Sherrif settled into his rhythmn, and with his partner DDH, swung the game back in favour of the Fitmen.
Dave nibbled away for 2 wickets, and was tireless in 8 overs straight through, conceding only 19 runs - great figures of 8-0-19-2. Sharif mopped up another wicket, and after a couple of early boundaries, conceded 30, yes 30, off his 8: (8-0-30-1).
Vice Martin and Jonesy bulked out the next 8 overs, complementing the hard work that had gone before for a wicket apiece; Ade 4-0-11-1, snaffling the dangerous opener for 61; Jonesy 4-0-17-1, his wicket being a sharp catch behind by Tom Houlgate off a climbing riser; before Guy and Raj were requested to wrap up the innings. Although Raj struggled to control the swinging Dukes, he finished admirably with 8-0-37-1. Guy on the other hand cannot buy wickets, and if he had anyone that could catch his nicks then he may be in with a shout of topping the wickets table; tight (and class) as ever, he beat the bat for 2 Maidens, finishing with 8-2-26-0.
Where is the other wicket I hear you cry - that is only 6 wickets I see - didn't we get them 7 down??? Oppo' Skipperrrr looking Dangerous on 18, taking a cheeky double off a nurdle down to backward Square Leg, was majesticly run out by a direct hit from Ade Martin - absolutely no response from the Fitmen mind...
154 for 7 now a great effort considering the start they got off to.

Tea was a belter; Duck Hoi-Sin wraps and Rocky Road, accompanied by slivers of Pork Pie, before Pineapple and Fruit slices to cleanse the palate. The taste buds were soon returned to normal when the bar opened offering Staropramen on tap (apparently the Houlgate's Abattoir needed more time to settle in order to separate the bone from the broth...) - liquid rocket fuel consumed, the Fitmen were ready for their reply.

Five-time Premiership winner Gavlar was joined by a new opening partner in Jonesy.... No point giving Gavlar instructions, so Jonesy had the skipper in his ear, even during the oppo' batting innings, "keep it steady", "get to 10 overs", "push the fielders back" etc etc.
Gavlar growled his way to a dozen, deciding that was enough letting Rob Green enter proceedings. Nice run-a-ball 15 from Dr Weed, before a lateral collateral ligament seemingly gave up the ghost so he chipped one to fly-slip. Si popped one up to mid-off leaving Jonesy to be joined by the Skipperrr.
Jonesy didn't disappoint and put the demons of his Village (do not put the word Idiot here)...nightmare to rest by smote-ing glorious boundary after glorious boundary in a mouth watering, and often Calypso Style, 67 not out off just 71 balls. Massive 6 gets him on the Six-Ometer as well.
Jonesy was accompanied past his Virgin Fitman 50 by Skipperrrr Tuckerrrr, who clattered 46 not-out to help the Fitmen past the 155 target in just under 27 overs.
Four wins on the bounce now and up next, our hosts Moseley Ashfield on Wednesday @ The Graveyard...rumours of a Volcanic Ash return were murmured amongst FitCircles.

Post-game antics included additions to the Fitmen Updates WhatsApp Group, intended for crucial team news, yet, undoubtedly, about to be completely abused by all...thanks go to Wookie Wannabee Sharif and StormTrooper DDH (Dangerous Dave Brian Phelan Healey, to give him his full and proper title) for the initial uploads, filling the memory's of all SmartFitPhones, and also burning things into the memory's of all Fitmen...see Chairman TC if you (really) want to be added to this group.
Skipperrr fessed up that Vice Martin had planted the Jonesy to Open seed - thanks go AM. Socks and open toed sandals are a No-No by the way...